Love, Life and Lemons

No matter how much I think I understand of life I always find out just how little I actually know. It’s been a busy couple of weeks in a number of ways but the events that currently have me reeling are the worst series I’ve had to deal with in months.

I told the girl who I wanted to give things a go with exactly that, and once again I got rebuffed. As this was the second time I started to force myself to calm down, to back off, to give her space and to try and work my mind away from her.

It worked.

Keeping in mind there were months between the two revelations and it was only after the second one that I figured, at this point, if she doesn’t like me she doesn’t like me.

So I managed to get my mind off her, and no sooner had I done that did I meet someone else, someone who’s had a bit of a rough time lately with ‘love’ as well. We’ve clicked before but there was never anything there but now… With no one else on either of our minds that click became a spark. And from there it’s grown into a tentative relationship.

Which is nice.

Except that now the girl above has decided that she likes me, and tonight I told her about meeting someone else…

Now, she wants nothing to do with me, and as much as I hate it I know that that’s her right. I’ve told her I’ll always be around, but I will respect her space.


Life has been interesting even without the above drama playing out. My brother came home from overseas and it’s been fun to have him around, work has been challenging but not too busy, and my gaming is going quite well.

I have neglected my writing a bit so far this month, but that will come. I’m thinking part of the next section needs to be an explanation at the beginning or the end of the ebooks to just actually explain what I’m doing and what I hope for when people read them.


And finally onto lemons.

Now, I’m not ‘religious.’ I don’t follow a faith even though I believe in an almighty entity that at the very least watches over us.

The girl who I’ve met is very religious. She’s Christian and believes strongly in God, The Holy Spirit and, most importantly to her, Jesus.

This has led to some very long and interesting discussions on everything from the bible through to the ancient civilizing figures of the Mayas and Aztecs.

In the end I managed to flesh out the vague picture of my faith beyond anything that I’ve ever managed before, and the lemon is part of that fleshing out.

My contention with the various prominent religions has been their focus on what I view as idols and such. The semi-worship of churches and statues, no matter what they may represent, seems to be to be against the very tenets of the faith. I also had a problem with the worship of ‘Jesus’ as I felt that it has become more about him and far less about the God that created him.

This is a problem for obvious reasons.

The analogy that led to us getting around this idea was this: A lemon has three parts (Ignoring the pips). The skin and rind, the segments, and the juice. Worshipping God, Holy Spirit and Jesus as separate entities to me seems like forgetting that the Lemon exists.

The other problem with the focus on Jesus is this: There are many figures throughout history and throughout different cultures that share the stories of Jesus. From miracle healing to resurrection to being seen as a great teacher. Quetzalcoatl and Viracocha are two that come to mind.

So my thought was this, time has been seen as a type of wheel. Things happen and they happen again and again with slight twists each time. What if all these civilising figures were different iterations of the same ‘creation.’ If God created the universe with a Word, and then created his ‘Sons’ with that same word, it stands to reason that they would share stories and features.

Many of the civilising figures from ancient times were depicted as white, bearded men in flowing robes. Very similar to the apparently wrong depiction of Jesus.

If any of you are familiar with procedurally generated worlds in gaming think of it like this: Jesus is the seed of our universe. The big bang was that moment as the game accepts the seed and begins to build. The expansion of the universe is the world getting generated further afield.

If you prefer the idea of fractals, the universe is one of those wonderful equations that lead to a fractal, and the Word is the values of x and y and z that lead to the unique pattern that one sees.

Anway, hopefully the wall of text doesn’t scare you all away 🙂 I’d love to hear your thoughts on this 🙂