When I first started writing here I was open and didn’t filter anything, I spilled my mind and didn’t care who it hurt or who read it.
As more and more people found out about my blog and I gave them links and so on I found myself becoming more reserved and considering each line far more carefully than was ever the intention.
I was fine with that.
But then a moment came where I started to over-filter myself and so every post became more of a mission that something fun and so I slowed down and practically stopped. I felt like there was a standard to try to keep to.
Right now I’m going to try and abandon that standard. If a post is terrible, it’s terrible, but that doesn’t mean that it’s a failure.
While we were in Cape Town there was a picture that I took. It was a moment in time between deciding to take the picture and the actual picture being taken. That candid picture was, to me, far better than the end result and that’s where my mind has been dwelling while coming up with this post; it was dwelling on the fact that candour can be far more beautiful than anything posed.
Of course this doesn’t mean that every candid moment is good.
I’ve spoken before about my webs, my mind’s way of trying to avoid surprises. Recently the webs have been forming again and, like before, they have been complicating certain things.
One of my favourite things about my current relationship is how open I can be about everything from my own insecurities to what I think of other people.
I shared one of my webs though and it has led to an awkward situation since that particular web was apparently one that involved a subject that was a problem already.
On top of that web being a pain certain others which have formed have led to me being unable to calmly handle certain things. It’s not exactly a problem, it just means that while those things are occurring I have to be a little more aware of my own mind and where exactly it is going. So far I’ve worried without reason but the webs are such that that re-assurance isn’t exactly re-assuring.
A while back I mentioned a piece of writing that I’d considered uploading. Since this post is all about being open and such, here it is too:
Hope you all enjoy it. 🙂