A storm is raging outside at the moment, rain pattering down on my corrugated iron roof. It’s always been an amazing sound and no matter how heavy it gets it’s always soothing.
There’s thunder in the distance and every now and again the lightning illuminates the edges of my blinds.
A week ago, I wouldn’t have been able to appreciate any of this.
I went into a flat spin, losing height quickly and not being able to pull myself up. It was terrifying mostly because it’s the worst one I’ve experienced in a long time but also because it had no trigger. Somehow it just happened.
And then on Thursday I managed to get my nose down and dive. If you’re familiar with planes you know what that means. As you plummet you gain control, and as you gain control you start to pull yourself out of the spin.
I had just gained control when Alan Walker’s Force came on and that was the end of the spin, and somehow, the end of the spell of depression.
I’m still not entirely back to normal, I’m slowly starting to talk to people again but I haven’t launched myself into that as far as I could, but I think that’s for the best. My control is still shaky and I don’t know what could set of the plunge again.
One thing that has come to mind though is something that has hurt me pretty much constantly for a good few years now. I had a friend named Storm. Her and I chatted constantly and it was always amazing fun.
Then she stopped talking to me and no matter how many messages I sent her, that never changed.
I started wondering how she was towards the end of my episode. Maybe it’s time I send her another message.