First off, I wildly underestimated my friend as far as the frequency of her blog posts go 😛
Beyond that though I had so many things swirling around in my head to write about, yet sitting here now I’m fishing around for them and can not find one. So, I’m going to just ‘close my eyes’ and write whatever comes to mind. It’ll probably be easier.
I tend to do things impulsively, worrying about the future that that will cause only for a moment in the moment before whatever it is occurs. I write like that, I live like that. It means that in my life I tend to end up doing far more than could potentially be healthy for me and sometimes I feel that.
But I’ve seen people who work the other way, who plan everything, who try and control every aspect of their lives. So often I feel they’re missing out on the very thing they’re planning for. They get to a situation where one of their plans come to fruition and they’re too busy planning the next thing to even notice.
Ah, one of those aforementioned ‘things’ has resurfaced. I have a situation where someone means the world to me. Not an entirely uncommon situation considering how much of my life I dedicate to those that allow me close. I tend to go overboard, end up being too intense and in the end I get left behind, often without ever being told why.
I have a gesture in mind for this person, something that I’ve worked on for more hours than I’ve been able to keep track of, upwards of fifteen spread over weeks. Whenever I have free time if I’m not working on it I’m thinking about it, how I can improve it and so on.
I want to actually finish the project soon and present it. But the target of the gesture… I don’t know if they’ll accept it, if they’ll reject it, if they’ll end up cutting me out like so many others have before…
Ugh… Anyway, onto happier things, I started looking into web design a little further. Two out of the three CMS’s that I tried installed cleanly and I’ve been trying them out. So far I haven’t really done much other than change some colours but considering that the last time I looked at them I didn’t even get that far (My mind was not in a good place) it’s progress.